North Carolina has a new bill that will make it a felony for a woman to expose her nipple or areola.

But not to worry! If you’re concerned that your summer camisole might slip and propel you into prison, Republican state Rep. Tim Moore says wimmenz can protect themselves from a life of crime by slapping a little duct tape on the business end of their womanly feed bags.

The state House Judiciary Committee C approved House Bill 34, which makes it a Class H felony to purposefully expose “private parts” for the “purpose of arousing or gratifying sexual desire.”

The bill expands the state’s definition of “private parts” to include a woman’s “nipple, or any portion of the areola.”

Democratic state Rep. Annie Mobley said she worried that women wearing “questionable fashions” could be prosecuted under the new rules.

But Committee Chairwoman Rep. Sarah Steven (R) suggested that women could use pasties or nipple coverings just to be safe.

I wonder how’ll determine intention? For example, when our daughter was young we had a number of variations on this conversation:

DAD: Geez, you’re not going to wear that to the beach, are you?

KID: Yeah. Why shouldn’t I?

DAD: Because men are going to look at you and think you’re inviting them to come on to you!

KID: Oh, Daddy! You’re so old-fashioned. All the girls dress like this these days.